Bit Late but Oh Well

So on Thursday, I will be 17 weeks along. If this was to be a parody of Emma's Diary, I would have documented my pregnant thoughts that no-one cares about, week by week. Oh well, tough shit, me.

So let me try and recall my weeks so far...

Got married on February the 11th, five days after two shits took my I Phone (see me other blog if you like). According to my shitty period math I might have gotten up the duff a week or two after this date. From the day you miss your monthlys you're already four weeks pregnant. At least the little un is in wedlock, phew! No hell or social chastisation for me! Although he or she or both (hopefully not) was unplanned. So I missed the beloved period and thought this is a tad strange, so on a trip to get cat litter I thought, why not spend the 3 quid and just take a test to make sure you're not in for a world of pain for the next 18 years, what the hey.

So I wee on the sticks and fatefully, there were two lines. If you're under 20 and not a chav, that moment is usually met by hysterical panic. If you're over 30, that moment is a joyous, sickeningly sweet occasion for the couple involved. So what of my reaction? A 25-year-old just married woman who until she met Mr P, never thought she would genuinely ever be happily married? Squinting at the lines and re-reading the instructions again and again and again to make sure two lines meant pregnant, EVEN A FAINT TWO LINES. I could explain away a late period as hormonal or stress induced, but an extra pregnancy hormone in my pee? That was harder for the left side of the brain to accept. However, the right side of the brain managed to block the two lines out for a while longer.

I then met up with a friend that night and had a marathon of Inbetweeners, the most immature but witty and awesome show ever, as you do. I stayed silent on the two lines because 1) I hadn't told my husband yet 2) She wasn't my closest friend in the world, cos I'm just weirdly loyal like that, there has to be a hierarchy people! and 3) It's something to this day, I can only talk about in small doses because let's face it, baby talk is boring.

Went home that night, when husband came back, or was it in the morning? Damn you stupid memory who remembers facts such as Kim Kardashian's middle name but not the actual moment I told my husband we were having a fucking baby! Before you google it, admit it, you were gonna! Her middle name is Noel. Anyway we were definitely lying in bed, when I said something like 'You know how I said my period was late...' To which the reply was 'You're pregnant/We're having a baby??' Stupid bitch ass memory, how do I get through the bloody day?! Anyway, future dad's reaction was happy and has just got more and more ecstatic every day since. His endearing words of happiness alone makes me it all worthwhile.