Thus far, the hubby and I were not adhering well to this, anyone asks, don't tell rule. In order to satisfy my sometimes ridiculous loyalty requirement that the closer the person, the quickest they should be to know, I told my sister. Again it was in a fit of sadness rather than joy.
My sister, husband, my dad and I went to a mosque to get my husband's certificate of conversion to Islam to go with our marriage certificate so we would not get arrested when we went to Malaysia for being unmarried whores. My sister and husband are one of the few people that know the extent of my dad's lunacy and can therefore take the piss like I do. So in the car journey I decided to recall the time when I attempted to clear out the attic and found placenta serum. Yes placenta serum. It was also expired, whatever the hell you use that for. When I decided to throw it in the bin, he took it out, like he does with most things I throw away, toothbrushes, sponges, you name anything disgusting, he's taken it out of the bin and put it back in it's place. I recanted this funny tale in the car and he got so angry. I mean disproportionately, out of the blue angry!! Refusing to believe that this was true, even though I had only mentioned it because I had seen the disputed bottle of serum in his room earlier that day.
This brought up anger issues towards my dad's anger issues and I told my only sibling. Stating that if he treats me like that, I don't want him to be around my child. Probably really meaning that if he hates me this much, I will use his grandchild as a tool in my game of hurt. She did the perfect squeal on my news but being the kind soul that she is, she immediately addressed my view that most of the time my dad freakin hates my guts. I said, he goes on like I'm the worst daughter in the world, bitch I could be Lindsay Lohan, he should be grateful. In one of her signature older than her years moments she said 'He could be a lot worse, he isn't the perfect dad but we aren't the perfect daughters either... Plus he's old so he's just crazy sometimes'.
Next on the list was the husband's BFF who was coming to Malaysia with us. Said in a whisper so my parents wouldn't overhear he expressed his reaction in that surprise, innocent, happy face that he does. When the husband walked him outside he said 'This is nothing but good news. And don't let anyone tell you any different OK'. Did I mention our friends were awesome?
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