For those not privy to the wonderfully boring world of mummy blogs, Emma's Diary was one of the very few things that my GP very briefly mentioned that I look up, for all things pregnancy related when I told her, that according to my £2.99 Asda pregnancy test, I was in fact pregnant. From what I can gather from the millions of baby-related ads on the site, Emma's Diary must be very popular. Apparently, especially with patients of doctors whose appointments are hurried along even if it is the most significant appointment of your life. Aside from the anti-climax of the appointment. Me: 'Do you need to do a test to confirm I'm pregnant?' (No offence to my second favourite supermarket but common sense, alongside any US sitcom, would dictate that a £2.99 test may be slightly unreliable) Doctor: 'No a home pregnancy test is better than any test I could do' alongside a fleeting moral judgement that I hadn't heard of or been taking folic acid already and 'you're 25, you're not going to have any problems'.
As soon as I got home I turned to Emma's diary because I was freaking the fuck out and wanted nutritional advice first and foremost, not to read about the ridiculous complaints from middle-class mummies to be. There is some advice, but not anything life changing, the NHS website is much better re what to avoid without the pretentiousness that is modern parenting. For example, unlike many bullshit baby blogs and sites, it addresses concerns such as eating raw food, whilst most crap sites might as well basically say everything but moving your left arm is a danger to your unborn baby, it actually explains why it is not recommended you eat raw food such as sushi; because there is a remote chance you will get food poisoning. When is the last time anyone got food poisoning from sushi?
Anyway my point was, if this satanic woman 'Emma' is actually real, it beggars belief that she has a GP recommended website. Why is her diary so popular? She seems to have no brain, no wit, no different spin on things, anything. Even when she did think she had a different spin on things, it is a feeling that most people have. She drops original gems such as, After five of the longest minutes of my life a blue line appeared
Furthermore, despite the fact that she had been trying for five months, she thought it appropriate to get wasted in the last few weeks and was then surprised she was pregnant and thus 'a bit freaked out' that her drunkenness affected the baby. But then her GP reassured her, reassured her of what I don't know but she got over the worry pretty quickly. By the grace of God or whatever it is you believe in, lots of babies do seem to have survived over the years even with the most cracked out mothers. So what's a little middle-class alcohol binge between friends? In week 7 she decides that since her husband is being noble and quitting smoking she will also do the 'noble thing' and stop drinking. Bravo!
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