Rules, There Must Be Rules

Probably due to the fact that I still did not fully accept un-broody me was actually pregnant I swore the husband to secrecy until a medic who was not insane like me could confirm this turn of events. As my husband is nothing but an excited cute little puppy in human form, he did not adhere to the number 1 rule of Scared and Pregnant Club and admitted he told his older sister as soon as he saw her. 'How did that happen?' was her response. 'We had sex' he said. 'Ooh ok'. Having recently had two babies in two years, I suspect her reaction was happy. I can only speculate based on a male account of someone's reaction to something, i.e. it is never helpful. Little did I know this was not the only VIP's reaction I was not to witness.

March 11th: One of my oldest friend's wedding, a shotgun wedding, to a guy I had never met before until the engagement party two weeks before, to a guy SHE had known for not even a year. FYI, my Nikah was on December the 17th, my registry was on February the 11th, her wedding was March the 11th, her due date is July 17th, mine is November the 11th. See, just the kind of wedding and pregnancy facts that no-one else can possibly care about but you! As my friend was showing and her boobs were freakin ginormous and it was a wedding so of course there were legions of impossibly cute Chinese kids running around, people were inevitably making suggestive comments all day to the husband and I that we should be next, wink wink, bla bla. The puppy didn't help, with his whispering all day of 'you should just tell them'. Just like my friend, she knew she was up the duff at my wedding and didn't say, so I decided to return the favour.

Eventually the baby elbowing and winking wore me down and I admitted to my two best gals, since one was leaving for Leeds right after the wedding and as usual, and I didn't know when I would see her next. Having still got the right side of the brain on lockdown, I resolved that the fluke result was entirely theoretical as the test was from Asda guys, it is probably wrong! Leeds friend said we should both do one right now just to show hers would be negative. Depressed as the thought of further confirmation, I declined. I could tell they were happy but reservedly so due to my depressed story revealing and exaggerated lack of real confirmation. Unlike my other half, they adhered to the number 1 rule of scared and pregnant club. Love them.